Everything You Know About English Is Wrong
i do not know the way else to inform you this...everything you recognize approximately English is wrong.
"If you're keen on language and the unvarnished fact, you will love every little thing you recognize approximately English is inaccurate. you should have enjoyable simply because his vigorous, comedic, skeptical voice will converse to you from the pages of his word-bethumped book."
-Richard Lederer, writer of Anguished English, Get Thee to a Punnery, and notice Wizard
Now that you just recognize, it is time to, good, chew the mummy tongue. William Brohaugh, former editor of Writer's Digest, can be your travel advisor in this pleasant trip in the course of the English language, mentioning the entire misconceptions approximately our wonderful-and splendidly confusing-native tongue. Tackling phrases, letters, grammar and ideas, no sacred cow is still untipped as Brohaugh unearths such attention-grabbing and irreverent shockers as:
- when you figuratively climb the partitions, you're agitated/frustrated/crazy. should you actually climb the partitions, you're Spiderman.
- "Biting the mum Tongue": English doesn't come from England.
- The observe "queue" is the poster baby of an English spelling rule so dominant we will name it a dominatrix rule: "U needs to stick with Q! Slave!"
- quite a bit of our vocabulary comes from the classical languages-clearly, Greece, and never Grease, is the note, is the be aware, is the word.
-Emoticons: disagreeable punctuational predictions
"Better plotted than a thesaurus, extra riveting than a glossary, extra filmable than a Harry Potter index-and that is simply Brohaugh's footsnorts... Imean, feetsnotes...umfeetsneets?...good gravy I'mglad I'mjust a cartoonist."
-John Caldwell, one in all Mad magazine's ordinary Gang of Idiots
This publication promises you will by no means examine the English language an analogous manner again-if you write, learn or converse it, it simply ain't attainable to reside with no this tell-all advisor. ("Ain't," by the way, isn't really a nasty word.)
The Anaheim Angels, yet then, with out truly relocating a unmarried bat out of its rack, replaced its identify to the Anaheim Angels of la, in essence, “the angels of the angels,” form of a unique créme de l. a. crème.) So why should still the word hoi polloi need to put on the batross round its neck and never even be granted such assimilation? 3rd, as I usually indicate during this booklet, we converse English and never [fill within the resource language in query here]. And through the precepts of the legislation of Xtreme.
sturdy, simply because now you’re improper. “You are correct” is true on historic phrases, and “You is inaccurate” is incorrect on those self same phrases. to profit why, thou ist invited (and y’all are invited, too) to refer to the access for “Y’all” in other places during this book,15 in particular, web page one hundred sixty five. VOWEL principles dossier less than “Two Vowels Walked right into a Bar . . .”: Walkin’ the stroll ain’t unavoidably talkin’ the debate. Here’s a enjoyable rule to aid us with the pronunciation of double-vowel phrases like roam, height, and bait: “When .
middle assaults. end: consume and drink what you're keen on. conversing English is outwardly what kills you. 5:06 PM web page ninety six EverythingYouKnowAboutEnglish_int.qxp:Between You _ I internals.qxd 4/2/08 every little thing you recognize approximately English is inaccurate 5:06 PM ninety seven Can’t We Even Get Our personal Clichés correct? “You can quote me as asserting i used to be misquoted.” –Groucho Marx in case you have been misquoted, Groucho, you’re a member of a membership you don’t are looking to belong to since it could have you ever as a member. Let’s meet a few.
observe since you have been donning a blindfold on the time and I’m unsure that i need to listen to approximately your blindfold-wearing adventures and even if you have been provided that final cigarette ahead of the firing squad used to be referred to as to realization, or even if you have been provided that cigarette after that pleasant night together with your friend final weekend . . . ). in case you reply, “You understand, you’re right,” I won’t inquire extra (because you evidently have been at the different part of the blindfold, and both nonetheless keeping.
additional to its assurance of this topic. Run your cursor over the facsimile of the published mistakes that Snopes comprises at the web page, and an “alt” window pops up, analyzing easily: “D(’oh)rd!” 5:06 PM web page 138 EverythingYouKnowAboutEnglish_int.qxp:Between You _ I internals.qxd 4/2/08 every little thing you recognize approximately English is incorrect 5:06 PM 139 You Don’t converse Latin, and never a lot of Greek, both you don't communicate Latin. i believe that your loss of day-by-day conversance with a lifeless language doesn't.